My absentee ballot arrived in the mail tonight: I have cast the first vote I've ever voted that ever meant anything, probably the most meaningful, significant vote of my life. I doubt I'll ever be so proud of a vote as I am tonight. I doubt I'll ever be so certain of a vote as I am tonight. It is a thing of beauty and meaning, and I will treasure it forever.

Here it is:



God, this feels GOOD.  ¶ 11:28 PM

  I've been fairly addicted to Dean's blogforamerica.com -- the official campaign weblog -- for a while now, months and months, actually, so it was a stunning honor to discover today that they'd actually published a letter that I wrote to them a couple of days ago (in response to a post on the blog asking Dean supporters to send in their stories), and put it right there smack dab on the Dean blog! (Click this or the above link to go there and see!)

Here is the text of my letter:

Guest Blogger Amy Letter: My Story
When I turned 18, I registered as a Democrat to vote: I'm from a union family, and I knew I believed in certain important things: equality, social justice, "social kindness" too... you know, taking care of people less fortunate. I was under the impression that those things were what the Democratic party stood for. Well, I voted once, at 18 years old, and I was pretty quickly disillusioned with the whole political process. I liked Bill Clinton enough, and I REALLY liked his healthcare plan, and it was so depressing watching it go down in flames. It was depressing watching the media personally attack his wife. It was depressing watch the country creep ever rightward, away from all the things that made me register as a Democrat in the first place.

So I gave up on it, and I didn't vote for the next ten years. I just didn't. I kept up with politics a little, enough to know what was going on, but I didn't get involved. I didn't vote. It seemed pointless and beyond my control. I didn't think there was a single politician who was a real human being: they were all just "candidates," always trying to get elected or re-elected, and never standing for anything.

After the 2000 coup, I felt awful and determined that I should do something. That I should get involved somehow. But I didn't know how. I was on-edge, I didn't believe the media (especially as they marched in lock-step towards war), and I didn't trust our "leaders" in the Democratic party, who were all happy enough to follow Bush and vote as he wanted.

I still remember the first time I saw Howard Dean: it was at one of the small, hardly watched debates on c-span last summer. He stood up and talked like a normal human being. He didn't "nuance" and he wasn't slimy, like some used car salesman. I remember at one point, the moderator mischaracterized something he said, and Dean corrected him royal. I hit the internet, read all about him: I read all the other candidate's websites too, but I kept coming back to Dean for America. When howarddean.tv came up, and I was able to watch Dean's speeches -- I remember one in (I think?) Sacramento that made me well up in tears I was so moved!!! -- I knew I would follow this man anywhere. I'm a student, and I don't have much money, but I sent Dean For America $100. I hadn't even voted in 10 years, but I knew I would vote for this man, and how! I sent money whenever I could, probably around 10% of my income for 2003.

Pretty soon, I was going to meetups, flyering, putting huge signs on my car (the bumper sticker wasn't large enough, so I added a rally sign!), telling all my family and friends... it's the greatest thing I've ever done. My vote for Dean will be the most important, significant, meaningful vote I will ever cast in my life. I'm never dropping out of politics again: the stakes are too high, there's too much we're fighting for. I'm living away from home now, but when I move back to my hometown next year, I plan on getting involved with the school board or the city commission, taking an active part in the running of our community. I am empowered, and I still want change, and while the corporate media served us up a big ol' disappointment with their ruthless spinning and distortion, I am not giving up, and in the end I think we'll win. I will be forever grateful to Doctor Dean, and to all the other people, like me, who got involved, who have hope for the future, who won't ever give up.

Sincerely,

Amy Letter

Brian has also blogged about me today on his site: http://incertus.blogspot.com/ (below the Nader piece)

It's pretty cool, a great honor. Have I mentioned I'm still voting for Dean on March 2nd? You should too. Seriously. You should.

If you're still asking "why?" click the link to the video at the bottom of the next post down. (Or click here!)  ¶ 1:46 AM

  Boy, have I been having a moovie kind of week! Before this week, the last movie I saw in the theaters was Finding Nemo, which I watched I think three times last summer at the theater with my nephew Payton. Since then I haven't been to a movie once. But this week I saw MONSTER the very excellent film about Florida and a serial killer and such -- and then I saw 21 GRAMS, the incredibly beautiful and thrilling stunner of a film about life, death, organ donation, deceit, murder, forgiveness, and big manly trucks painted up holy for Jesus -- and tonight I saw THE FOG OF WAR, and incredible documentary film (but truly artisticly done) that interviews Robert McNamara about what was going on in the White House during Vietnam... It's amazing to look into the eyes of this very old (he remembers the celebrations at the end of WWI, and great flu epidemic of 1918), extraordinarily lucid man who witnessed and participated in so much of history, and hear his take on things. He draws the line with his unseen interviewer in several places, especially when it comes to his own feelings of guilt, and his family, but the revelations are numerous and the conflict in his heart is evident -- his emotions are not suppressed.... With tears in his eyes, he quotes TS Eliot's "Four Quartets" (little gidding):

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.

He definitely sees us remaking the mistakes of yesteryear.

He denounces unilateral war flatly and clearly.

He lets us know just how close to total global destruction we have come. He lets us know how quickly it could still happen, in an instant.

In short: it's a must-see.

So is this: CLICK ME!
(Or me!)  ¶ 2:52 AM